DIALOGUE ON DOUBT AND FAITH
Part of an ongoing series on doubt and faith between Rev. Dean Lueking and Helen Mildenhall. Others are invited to join in:

Dean, I was curious to see what you'd say when I realized your last contribution to our dialog was about being gay and being on The Way. [The Way and being gay, Viewpoints, Oct. 8]

This is such a sensitive topic. As best I understand, for many if not all gay people, "I am gay" is part of their very identity. When others make pronouncements that homosexual activity is not OK, what these people hear is, "Who I am is not OK," which is a very hurtful message.

A number of years ago I was struck by a Bible verse about Jesus which said he would not break a bruised reed or snuff out a smoldering wick (Matthew 12:20 and Isaiah 42:3). It seems to me that followers of The Way are called to show the same sensitivity. Anyone who wades into the issue of sexual orientation with heavy boots of "truth" risks leaving a great many broken reeds in their wake.

I appreciate that this is not your approach, that instead you listen to gay people with respect, humility and sensitivity.

Proposition 8, banning gay marriage in California, has put gay marriage back in the news in recent months. I was sad that it passed. I really don't see what's wrong with gay marriage. I would feel uncomfortable as a married person saying that other people who want to make that commitment to each other shouldn't be allowed to just because they are the same gender as each other.

You defined marriage this way:

"As for me in my calling, I am responsible to a Biblical truth which teaches that marriage is more than a civil compact but a God-given covenant between a man and a woman, a sign of the Divine love that joins Christ and his church, a building block for all human community, and a channel to keep the human race going. I hold to that."

It sounds like you are against gay marriage. But I'm not sure why. Is it because marriage is "a channel to keep the human race going"? If so, then we should not allow infertile men and women to marry either. Yet as best I know no one has ever suggested making their marriages illegal.

The issue of sexual orientation seems to invite some people to assert to others: "This is what's wrong with you." I think it is kinder and more respectful when we refrain from such assertions, instead giving each other space to discover where each of us needs to grow as human beings. Maybe that's what Jesus meant when he suggested we take the plank out of our own eye before pointing out the speck in someone else's?

Helen Mildenhall